March 9, 2012

Charlotte's Last Stand


http://nobetterforum.blogspot.com/2012/03/charlottes-last-stand.html

I don't wear my contacts in the shower. A steamy shower can be so relaxing but not if I can see the soap scum under the shampoo or the mildew starting to form on the curtain. 

Or a spider with a vendetta.

A couple of weeks ago I posted this on Facebook:

I'm not particularly afraid of spiders but I think I've met my match. One was pacing back and forth across the window in my room. When I came close - I swear this to you - it looked over its spidey shoulder and glared at me. I'm pretty sure it is rabid. When I mustered the courage and squished it I pulled the tissue back and it was gone. Still haven't found it. Probably plotting an overthrow of the current regime in this house.
When a friend expressed concern, I replied:
Well, it wasn't a hobo or a recluse so I don't think I'm in actual danger but the baby sleeps in my room. I can just see the spider thinking 'Hmm... she seems to care about that loud, slobbery thing. Perhaps I should lie in wait in its crib then STRIKE!'
I'm a pest control aficionado. I pretty much put the spider out of my mind because I knew I had traps all over the house (see link at end of post). They don't look like much, but when I swap them out (every six months or so) I find them plugged full of spiders and other assorted vermin. Last time there was a freakin' centipede in there. Ew.

I wasn't always obsessed with pest control, but our subdivision is built on recently reclaimed farm land. When we moved in we had to contend with gophers, ants, mice, spiders, earwigs, bees, wasps, flies... you get the idea. At one time our idea of a fun family evening was to open the top of the compost barrel and watch the neighborhood cats chase mice. Maybe I shouldn't admit that.

Back to my steamy, relaxing shower. I stepped in, let the water run over my face, and tried to think about nothing for a minute. My zen was interrupted by a sharp sting on my foot. I gasped and looked down to see a dark shape floating toward the drain.

REALLY, SPIDER?! 

WAS THAT YOUR BIG PLAN? 

HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD "THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER"? 

IT DOESN'T END WELL FOR THE SPIDER!

ENJOY THE SOAPY SLIDE OF DEATH, STUPID!


-Kim

Kim's Pest Control Necessities (I practically buy these in bulk):

The Spider Trap


Discreet, Yuck-Free Flypaper


Gophers Be Gone!


Kill the Ants Before They Get In

3 comments:

  1. My disgust for arachnids is such, that I had to get the Spawn to scroll down so that I didn't have to see the picture...pathetic I know...(bows head in shame)

    Great post, had me laughing out loud!

    Oh and like you, I hate to see the, let's call it excess shall we? from the shower curtain and shower head...which is why I shower with my eyes squinted...and in the dark...(can everyone say OCD?)

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    Replies
    1. Hilarious! So happy the spider thing doesn't bother me too much. Don't get me wrong, I don't want them as pets, but they don't freak me out too badly.

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  2. Oh my gosh I did the same thing. I can't stand spiders.

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