December 3, 2011

The Nativity of Saint Nicholas

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On the drive home from dinner tonight, in a not-so-desirable neighborhood, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

It was past the kids' bedtime and they were both cranky and crying. They had a busy day. And yet...

"Jerry. Turn around."

"Why? No!"

"I'm not turning around."



"TURN THE FUCK AROUND. IT'S IMPORTANT."

~~Three minutes later~~

"Pull into that cafe. Drive casual."

"Why. Are. We. Here."

(from the backseat "waaaaaaa!!!" "can we go home?!")

"Jerry. That's baby Jesus in a fireplace. With a reindeer."

"What? No, that's a manger."

"Mangers don't have chimneys."

"Where are you going?! Those people are looking at you!"

"I'm taking a picture of their gorgeous decoration! What's the problem?"

"Oh my God."

Now, dear Reader, I share this with you. Sorry about the quality. I didn't want to be forced to squeal like a pig if I could avoid it.

I'm hoping it represents the birth of Santa, because the alternative - burning baby Jesus in effigy - is much more ominous. This may actually tie everything together! Christmas isn't pagan or Christian. Santa was born in a fireplace (where he now delivers gifts, hello!) under the adoring eye of Mary, Joseph, three wise men, and a reindeer. Cordoned off by a picket fence and some giant candy canes.

Or is this what they use for Festivus?     -Kim



2 comments:

  1. Okay first, your tags "redneck" and "deliverance" priceless .... Just epic awesome ness :) second, this post just reminded me that I've been meaning to message you to tell you I read The First Christmas Story to the kids and now Annabelle is uber obsessed with the nativity which is totally freaking Julian out LOL ... in my eyes, she also obsessed with Fairies and unicorns, so whatever :) It is amusing to watch Julian squirm when the Christmas carols are playing and Annabelle informs us that it is a "Jesus" song ... You are one of only a few people I know would appreciate this and not react in horror.

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